6th Anniversary

Six years tomorrow. Six truly fantastic years. I really can't believe how far we've come in those six years. I was looking back at the blog posts I've written for our anniversaries (3rd on, since I didn't blog before then), and I just couldn't help but laugh to myself. 

3rd anniversary:  I said that this was the year that we really and truly became best friends, and I still agree. Funny. I've said over and over how lucky I am that you turned out to be such an amazing guy - you are a lot better than the man I thought I was marrying. We were just kids. We barely knew each other. We were still shy and embarrassed and said what we thought we should. That third year was when it all changed. We learned how to be us.

 4th anniversary: No blog post this year (sad). Probably because we were busy living by ourselves across the world in Australia, vacationing in New Zealand, and becoming pregnant with little Kaiah! What a crucial year this was! Living on our own, away from all of our friends and family - I think that is what prepared us for parenthood. We really grew up that year. We learned how to save, we learned how to rely solely on each other, and we learned how to have fun on a Friday night by ourselves with no money. We became unselfish. We became a family.

5th anniversary: To this day, we still cannot remember what we did for our anniversary last year. I know it was nothing big, but I am sure we at least went to dinner. The thing is, it really didn't matter. This 5th anniversary blog post still is probably the most true thing that I have ever written in my life. I meant every single word of it, and I still do. Starting a family with you changed my whole perspective, and the most important thing was that confidence that I had in you, our marriage, our love. I've never questioned it. Ever.


And now, as I reflect on our 6th anniversary, I just have to chuckle to myself. I feel like we've grown so much and come so far, and yet it is clear that we are still just learning about these things called life and love and family. We are still trying to overcome our tendencies and focus on priorities. I found myself this year reverting back to those first two years of marriage - our anniversary needs to be big! We need a night in a hotel, La Chaille ($200 meal?!?!?!), gifts. I insisted that we needed those things to be happy. Then, the new, mature Kasie finally emerged from this regressive state. I remembered that we don't need to be someone else. We are okay just being us. People can laugh that we love drive-in movies - who cares? There is nothing more that I need than to just celebrate us the way we do it. So, our plans for the night: dr. appointment (almost 16 weeks!), Cheesecake factory (plenty of a splurge for us!), and a drive-in. Sounds perfect. Just like us :)

And, yes, this year has been our best year yet. I say that every time, and I always mean it. I was thinking about our Scrabble game last night - I killed Jer. Super won. Jer was pouting and said that he would never play with me again because I am opportunistic (isn't the point to win?) and that I leech off of  him (I'm sorry if I can turn your 10 point word into a 30 point word with just one letter). Later, before we fell asleep. I told Jer that I love him and that I wouldn't change anything about him. Not even his issue with board games and competitiveness. Why? Because we are perfectly matched. If I wished he was better then he would no longer be my perfect equal. Instead of one person pulling the other forward or us wasting our time trying to fix each other, we get the wonderful, wonderful blessing of working together towards our common goals at equal speed. Nothing feels better in the world than having a perfectly equal companion, in the true sense of the world, to live life with.

Well, except maybe raising a baby (or two) with that companion. Now that is good.

This week

I feel like this summer is just FLYING by. Seriously. I don't think I have ever been so busy in my life! My sis and I were just trying to schedule a two-day camping trip for my family (the first one EVER), and we only have two options - one in Sept. and one in Oct. Yes, that means that every single day and weekend through July and August are completely full (and not of fun stuff, either). Ugh. Jer and I decided that we HAVE to go on one vacation every summer because if not, then, well, it pretty much sucks. This is what I get for becoming a coach.

On happier news, we just had a housewarming party on Saturday that was awesome! Thanks to everyone who stopped by to celebrate our new home with us! We absolutely love it and it feels so incredibly wonderful to finally have a place of our own! Pictures to come (umm . . . maybe. No guarantees).

To celebrate the 24th, we went to Tucanos with my fam, then just hung out. No fireworks (which made Kaiah happy). Then my little clan went driving around the Alpine Loop and walked around Cascade Springs - beautiful! It was super fun just to let Kaiah get filthy and play outside.

This is my last week home with Kaiah this summer (sucky) but Jer and I celebrate our 6th anniversary this weekend! Yay! Details to come. Then I leave for a conference in Seattle on Sunday :(

Here's to looking forward to a great week!

Update on Kaiah

Kaiah is spending the week at Grandma Wewe's house because I have to be at this stupid Common Core thing all week long - so, obviously, this leads to me seriously missing my little girl. I thought I would take this sentimental mommy moment to write down some adorable memories of my Kai.

• Her favorite movie BY FAR is Tangled. I have no idea how this happened, but she is obsessed with it. Every time we get in view of the video cabinet, she runs over and searches through it until she finds her favorite movie. Then, she'll just sit still for at least the first half - usually more. Sits still. That never happens!
• She still doesn't say a ton except, of course, for "No!" Jer, being ever clever, made this a little better by teaching her to say "Oh No!" It just seems a little cuter and a lot less bratty stubborn.
• She has learned how to say "Elmo" and "Grandpa" and "Side" (for outside or slide). I love every new word and think that she gets so much more adorable with every one.
• She is still fiercely independent - seriously. She tries to do everything, and I mean everything, by herself. She hates help and needing mommy and daddy!
• Plus . . .
• She is going to be a big sister in Januray! I am 14 weeks along, due January 16th! We can't wait! :)

Still Alive

Yeah, I haven't blogged in over 2 months. I wish I could say it was because nothing exciting was happening, but it is actually the opposite. Tons of exciting things have been going on, and I have missed blogging all of them. Living with my brother-in-law's family for a whole month while homeless - missed. Kamie and Alex moving away - missed. Jer's 29th birthday - missed. Getting the drill job at Wasatch and our whole first month of practice - missed. Stephen finishing his bout with chemo - missed.  Buying our first home and moving in - missed. Kaiah growing up before my eyes - missed. So, so ridiculously sad.

I don't really know what kept me from blogging. I guess it just felt like I always had so many more important things to do. But, really, it is those important things that were the most important to blog. I can kinda tell how my life is going by the frequency of my blogging. You can guarantee that if my blogging has slacked, something else in my life has, as well.

So here's to a new, committed approach to blogging!

Oh, and I also missed BYU going Independent - can't forget that!

Being a Mom

Being a mom is . . . well . . . it is everything. It has completely changed, not only my life, but my whole perspective on life. Jer and I will sometimes reminisce on the five years we had together before babies. We miss being able to just leave and go out to eat or to the grocery store or to the movie. We miss staying up late and sleeping in. We miss spending money on anything we want. We miss quality time together.

But, we have completely realized that those five years, while wonderful, were nothing compared to this.

Our lives had no importance. Nothing we did mattered to anyone but us. While we did love that time together, it really didn't mean much.

Now, our lives mean so, so much more. Our lives have meaning. Our lives are important. Kaiah makes them that way.

And it is the best thing in the world.

12 months

One week from her birthday, Kaiah had her 12 month checkup! She is 22.19 lbs (67%) and 28.75 inches (36%). Still short, but super healthy. The doctor said that everything looked great with her, but she hated her shots. After the nurses finished and I picked Kai up, she glared at them and chewed them out until they left - such sass!

My Kai bug, at 12 months:

• Walks, runs, and stamps her feet all the time. She never crawls - ever. She is happiest when she has plenty of space to run.
• Her favorite foods right now are peas, gold fish, pizza, cheese, yogurt, grapes, and raisins.
• She usually sleeps from about 8:00 pm- 7 or 8:00 am and takes two naps.
• She just started this weird dance thing - she kinda spazzes out just the right side of body and runs in circles!
• When she sees something that she likes, she "oohhhhhs" sooooo cute!
• She loves to open her dresser drawers and pull out every outfit that she owns.
• Her favorite show is Juno Baby (junobaby.com)
  
• She strongly dislikes grass - like, it is the best baby sitter ever. Put her on a blanket in the middle of the grass and she won't leave.
• She is finally, for the first time, starting to get a little cuddly. Little being the key word.
• She is our complete life. We love her more than we ever thought possible!

Happy birthday, Kai bug!

The birthday

My family has a tradition of having extremely drawn-out birthday celebrations - and our little Kaiah's has been no different!

Tuesday, March 1st my baby turned one year old!

Mom and Dad both had to work, so Kaiah spent the day with Aunt Kamie and Cousin Ari. She got to take up one of her new toys to play with, and Jer and I bought her "fun" food - toddler meal, apple juice, and some toddler cereal bars. Kamie planned a fun edible craft project, which Kai loved until she got the frosting on her feet! Our baby girl HATES to be dirty or anything fluffy/slimy.

When we got home, we played for a bit and then went to Pizza Factory for dinner. Kai loved sharing our breadsticks and ate her own cheese pizza!

Then we came home and let her break open her "new" Christmas toys - the ones that were too old for her at Christmas time. She loved each and everyone.

Finally, we went to Kneaders to get her a birthday cupcake. Being our little prissy girl, she didn't eat it at all because she didn't want to get her hands messy. Dad didn't mind doing her a solid by finishing it for her :)

Then off to bed in some new jammies!

Today we took her one year pictures and I think they are going to be amazing!

Tuesday is her doctor's appointment, so we will see then how her stats are.

And one week from today, next Saturday, is her birthday party! We can't wait to see everyone there!

One

My baby is one . . .

Oh. My. Word.

Happy birthday to the most beautiful, intelligent, hilarious, adorable little girl in the world. You are everything.



We love you bigger than the sky and more every day!

Sunday Lessons

Most important thing that I've learned while Jer has been gone - I do, in fact, as Jer has been trying to tell me for 5 1/2 years, steal the covers. I never believed him. Not once. But since he has not been here to tug and pull all night, I wake up in the morning with every last inch of our giant and heavy comforter transported someone onto my side of the bed. Who knew? Well, besides Jer, of course.

Second most important thing I've learned - I stink at keeping in touch with people. Okay, lie, I already knew that I stunk at it. If you call, don't expect me to answer. Just leave a message. And if you do, still don't expect me to call you back. Because I probably won't. I guess Jer is my conscience when it comes to phone etiquette. He leaves, and my ability to return phone calls leaves with him. So I apologize Stacey and Clark and Natalia and Sara and anyone else who has called who I have ignored. I just stink.

Most annoying thing right now - since I am currently teaching a grammar/punctuation unit, I find myself evaluating every single comma that I put in my writing. You see, the comma in the previous sentence is correct because it separates a dependent clause from an independent clause. There is a fragment earlier in this post, though, that is driving me insane. Those commas are correct, fyi. That one, too. And that one. See the problem?

Hardest thing to think about - my baby is almost one. Yeah . . . um . . . let's just hold that conversation another day. I am not emotionally ready for it yet!

Best news of the day - only one more week till I can smoother my hubby in kisses :)

Dad's gone and my feet smell

Daddy is in Australia, which means:

• Kaiah seems to stay in her jammies much longer than normal.
• I'm on a tivo freeze - not allowed to watch any of our shows until Jer gets home, so . .
  
• I've started watching some great new shows (Cake Wars, My Life as Liz)
• Kaiah and I spend our Saturday night at the high school making copies
• My computer screen has slobbery Kaiah kisses all over it from her kissing daddy over Skype.

It has actually been easier than I thought it would, thanks almost entirely to Kamie. I never feel lonely because my bestest friend lives just upstairs. One week down, two to go.

On another note - Spring! :) What a beautiful day.

Oh, and I really need some new shoes. Mine stink. Literally. Jer always tells me to wear socks with my flats - but socks with my flats? I just can't. My toes like to be free. So, yeah. My shoes smell bad and I need new ones. Wear do you shop for shoes?

My sister's mud

My sister is . . . I wish I was her. She just posted her thoughts on everything happening in my family, and, of course, it is much more optimistic and beautiful than what I could muster in my last post. So, if you want to read what I wish I could say about our trials, go here.

P.S. Thanks Kamie for being the best big little sister ever.

Sad x 2

#1:

It happened. My hubby is officially gone. Baby and I sent him off to Australia today. Three weeks. Three weeks without him to chase Kaiah around and wear her out before bed time. Three weeks without him taking out the garbage. Three weeks without him snoring in my ear. What will I ever do without him?

#2:

Stephen (mom's hubby) has lymphoma and started chemo this week. Non-curable, but treatable. 69% survival rate for 5 years. He's 47. Mom shaved his head today.

I know I should be saying that everything will be okay and things are good and we are so blessed, but I just don't feel like it.

11 months

You, at 11 months:

• Not only walking everywhere, but also trying to run!
• Can say "daddy" and "bubba" (Ari).
• Love playing "E.T." - we touch pointer fingers and say "ouch"!
• Still love bath time and anything with water!
• Learned how to not only take things out, but put them back in! This has been fantastic for when you "help" mom with the laundry.
• Are becoming a little pickier with the eating, but still love cheese and yogurt.
• Just learned how to wave "bye bye"
• Love to dance to any deep, soulful music! This can be really embarrassing if we go to any restaurant with a blues track (think Fuddruckers or Happy Sumo). The waitresses love to laugh at you rocking out in your high chair!
  
• Are happiest when you have something in your hand and free reign to walk anywhere you please. You are happy to spend hours holding your plastic egg and walking all around the front room, to you bedroom, and back.
• Give the best, slobbery kisses ever.

We love you more than we can even begin to explain. You are our life. And yes, we are still learning how to be the parents you deserve. Here's the proof:



Happy 11 months, baby!

Me, at 26

Disclaimer: This idea is 100% stolen from my my beautiful aunt Jenny.

Every year I expect to feel like I am finally getting old, but it just doesn't happen. I like my age. I do not want to be any younger. I think it is because I am committed to making every year better. I honestly feel like I am a better person this year than last year, so there is no desire for me to turn back the time. I love that I can look forward to new years and ages with hope and optimism instead of dreading aging. I know that I am still in my twenties, so this may change when the thirties hit, but I hope not. I look forward to growing older.



My philosophy: Birthdays (holidays, dates, parties, . . . and life in general) are what you make of it. If I want to have a great birthday, it is my job to ensure that it happens. Also, my family doesn't really just celebrate a birth-day . . . more like a birth-week!

My festivities began on Saturday with a date with my hubby. I bought a new temple dress (sadly, I don't see anytime in the near future when the one I was married in will fit) and it is perfect. Then we went to the temple for an endowment session, followed by dinner at my current favorite restaurant, India Palace (thanks Clark and Natalia!). We ate some Chicken Coconut Korma and Naan bread, with my usual staple of Diet Coke. Best. Food. Ever. I can't believe that I only discovered Indian Food last year!

Today I don't have to work, which is both fantastic and a little sad. I love teaching and I love my students, so I would be perfectly happy spending my birthday with them. But, even better, I get to spend the day with Kamie! We ate lunch at Red Robin, and both the food and company was fantastic.

Jer and I will go out to dinner tonight, followed by family evening with Kamie, Alex, and Ari.

Friday my family will all be going to Tucannos to celebrate both mine and Alex's b-days, followed by a visit with my Dad on Saturday.

See . . . I told you it was a week long thing.

I don't really care about presents at birthday time. I would much rather spend our money doing something that I love - hanging out with good food and good friends. Things don't make me feels special or appreciated, people do.

My favorites at 26:
TiVo shows: Biggest Loser, House, Bones, Big Bang Theory, 30 Rock, Fringe
Diet Dr. Pepper, everyday
Ludo and The Graduate
Eclectic furniture and decorations
Great online deals
My baby's laugh

What I am most proud of: My marriage. Call me conceited, but Jer and I have the marriage people dream of. Better than the movies. It may not be all that flashy and romantic, but it is comfortable and solid. Jer is my best friend. We consider each other complete equals on every sphere, especially intellectually. I am so grateful to have found someone that I can talk about politics, ethics, psychology, science, and life with. Jer pushes me to think deeper, feel more, and reach further. He is my confidant, my counselor, and my teacher.

We don't have very many assigned roles (except that Jer usually takes out the trash). Instead, our philosophy is that we both work together, and then we both play together. We take turns changing diapers and feeding Kaiah her solids, Jer and I cook and do dishes about equally. We clean together. If I have a lot of grading, then Jer does the housework, and vice versa when he has homework. It works for us because it makes us equals.


How I have changed the most since my last birthday: I became a mom. I was terrified that I would be a terrible mom - that I wouldn't know what to do or, worse, that I would hate it. Not the case. I love it. Love love love it. Kaiah is worth every second of missed sleep or stained clothes or stressful night or lost romance. She is more than worth it. She is worth everything. I am proud of my mommyhood. I have worked hard to learn what I need to learn and do my research. I follow the advice of experts and try hard to do what is best for Kaiah, not for me. Plus, motherhood fulfills me. I feel more comfortable in who I am as a person now that I am a mom.

My current views:

I think that life is good if we make it that way. I choose to be happy with my job and the things that I have. Plus, I can choose to help other people feel good, too. That's why I love teaching so much. It gives me an opportunity to influence the way that my students think and the philosophies that they will blog about someday.

I am becoming more comfortable with the way I look. I have finally found a hair style that I like, which is a huge accomplishment for me. I don't think that I have ever really liked my hair until this year. I still have a long way to go with my weight (both physically and mentally) but I am getting better. It has definitely been a roller coaster. I lost 34 pounds in 2009, got pregnant and gained 52 pounds, and now have 10 more pounds to go until I am back to that slimmer Kasie from 2009. This is still not a weight that is healthy for me, but it is getting closer. More importantly, I think that I am coming to terms with a lot of the mental aspects of my issues with food. It is a work in progress, but I am getting there.

Jer and I are finally starting to save for a house - for the first time in our marriage. We aren't close, but we actually can now see a way to accomplish that goal. Hopefully in 4-ish years we will have a place to call our own.

I feel more fulfilled as a person than I ever have in my life before. My marriage fulfills me, my work fulfills me, and my baby fulfills me. I am growing stronger in my testimony every week and progressing closer to the person I want to me.

Life is good, and always getting better, at 26!

Top 31 of 2010!

So . . . I kinda failed and missed several days of my gratitude list. But the best part of this blog being for me . . . it doesn't matter! Next year I will try again and hope to make it all the way, but for this year I will be satisfied with just ending with my top 31 things that I am grateful for in all of 2010! So my top 31 blessings of the year, with no numbers because I can't even begin to put them in order:

Graduating Summa Cum Laude
Choosing the Heber job over the online charter school job
Getting assigned Honors 9th grade classes
Finding a job that I love every single day
Celebrating 5 years of marriage with Jer
Kaiah being born healthy
Watching Kaiah grow
Feeling my baby moving inside of me
Buying our Jeep
Finally being done with school for as long as I choose!
Getting cousin Ari
Getting cousin Ciara
Watching Josh and Jessica get sealed
Moving into our house with Kamie
Kamie staying home to watch Kaiah
Our new married student ward
Learning how to coupon
Finally developing a close relationship with my mother-in-law
Having almost a full 6 months as a stay at home mom with my baby
Being able to breastfeed
Choosing to home make my baby's food
Getting to know Elizabeth and Braxton
Seeing my baby's face for the first time
Watching Jer turn into a daddy
Jer being a better dad than I could have ever imagined
Being able to finish college before Kaiah was born
Jer going back to school
Experiencing our first Christmas with Kaiah
Feeling fulfilled as a teacher
Experiencing motherhood
Learning how to love more than I ever thought I could