Every year I expect to feel like I am finally getting old, but it just doesn't happen. I like my age. I do not want to be any younger. I think it is because I am committed to making every year better. I honestly feel like I am a better person this year than last year, so there is no desire for me to turn back the time. I love that I can look forward to new years and ages with hope and optimism instead of dreading aging. I know that I am still in my twenties, so this may change when the thirties hit, but I hope not. I look forward to growing older.
My philosophy: Birthdays (holidays, dates, parties, . . . and life in general) are what you make of it. If I want to have a great birthday, it is my job to ensure that it happens. Also, my family doesn't really just celebrate a birth-day . . . more like a birth-week!
My festivities began on Saturday with a date with my hubby. I bought a new temple dress (sadly, I don't see anytime in the near future when the one I was married in will fit) and it is perfect. Then we went to the temple for an endowment session, followed by dinner at my current favorite restaurant, India Palace (thanks Clark and Natalia!). We ate some Chicken Coconut Korma and Naan bread, with my usual staple of Diet Coke. Best. Food. Ever. I can't believe that I only discovered Indian Food last year!
Today I don't have to work, which is both fantastic and a little sad. I love teaching and I love my students, so I would be perfectly happy spending my birthday with them. But, even better, I get to spend the day with Kamie! We ate lunch at Red Robin, and both the food and company was fantastic.
Jer and I will go out to dinner tonight, followed by family evening with Kamie, Alex, and Ari.
Friday my family will all be going to Tucannos to celebrate both mine and Alex's b-days, followed by a visit with my Dad on Saturday.
See . . . I told you it was a week long thing.
I don't really care about presents at birthday time. I would much rather spend our money doing something that I love - hanging out with good food and good friends. Things don't make me feels special or appreciated, people do.
My favorites at 26:
TiVo shows: Biggest Loser, House, Bones, Big Bang Theory, 30 Rock, Fringe
Diet Dr. Pepper, everyday
Ludo and The Graduate
Eclectic furniture and decorations
Great online deals
My baby's laugh
What I am most proud of: My marriage. Call me conceited, but Jer and I have the marriage people dream of. Better than the movies. It may not be all that flashy and romantic, but it is comfortable and solid. Jer is my best friend. We consider each other complete equals on every sphere, especially intellectually. I am so grateful to have found someone that I can talk about politics, ethics, psychology, science, and life with. Jer pushes me to think deeper, feel more, and reach further. He is my confidant, my counselor, and my teacher.
We don't have very many assigned roles (except that Jer usually takes out the trash). Instead, our philosophy is that we both work together, and then we both play together. We take turns changing diapers and feeding Kaiah her solids, Jer and I cook and do dishes about equally. We clean together. If I have a lot of grading, then Jer does the housework, and vice versa when he has homework. It works for us because it makes us equals.
How I have changed the most since my last birthday: I became a mom. I was terrified that I would be a terrible mom - that I wouldn't know what to do or, worse, that I would hate it. Not the case. I love it. Love love love it. Kaiah is worth every second of missed sleep or stained clothes or stressful night or lost romance. She is more than worth it. She is worth everything. I am proud of my mommyhood. I have worked hard to learn what I need to learn and do my research. I follow the advice of experts and try hard to do what is best for Kaiah, not for me. Plus, motherhood fulfills me. I feel more comfortable in who I am as a person now that I am a mom.
My current views:
I think that life is good if we make it that way. I choose to be happy with my job and the things that I have. Plus, I can choose to help other people feel good, too. That's why I love teaching so much. It gives me an opportunity to influence the way that my students think and the philosophies that they will blog about someday.
I am becoming more comfortable with the way I look. I have finally found a hair style that I like, which is a huge accomplishment for me. I don't think that I have ever really liked my hair until this year. I still have a long way to go with my weight (both physically and mentally) but I am getting better. It has definitely been a roller coaster. I lost 34 pounds in 2009, got pregnant and gained 52 pounds, and now have 10 more pounds to go until I am back to that slimmer Kasie from 2009. This is still not a weight that is healthy for me, but it is getting closer. More importantly, I think that I am coming to terms with a lot of the mental aspects of my issues with food. It is a work in progress, but I am getting there.
Jer and I are finally starting to save for a house - for the first time in our marriage. We aren't close, but we actually can now see a way to accomplish that goal. Hopefully in 4-ish years we will have a place to call our own.
I feel more fulfilled as a person than I ever have in my life before. My marriage fulfills me, my work fulfills me, and my baby fulfills me. I am growing stronger in my testimony every week and progressing closer to the person I want to me.
Life is good, and always getting better, at 26!
